The Dark

To most the dark is when the sun goes down, the light of day fades away, the stars and moon come out and the dark over takes the earth. I view the dark in a totally different way. To me the dark is when the pain takes over and my body is incapable of doing anything but laying down, moving only from bed to couch. There is no urge to want to eat, drink or move. The pain just rolls from one side of my head to the other and as I move the vertigo just takes over. With all of this nausea moves in with my stomach as every part of my body tries to get in on this so called party. Next moves in anxiety as you feel anxious about every move you want to make and how it going to effect each portion of your body. Then depression joins in as you just want to crawl into a dark hole and let your pain take over every inch. This dark is hard to fight as the pain is so convincing in keeping you down. You feel no want to interact with life and this only makes it worse. But the fight is difficult when all your systems are down and out. But you have to do it, you have to move no matter the pain, you have to trick your brain to think about something else. You have to, you just have to or the dark will take over.

10-30-15 Who is with you?

Today’s message from God reminds us that he tells us I am with you.  God never fails to continue to tell us over and over that he is with us.  He wants us to learn to quiet our minds and hear him telling us that.  He lets us know that if we do this in the stillness of our lives and learn to hear him that eventually we can do it during the busy days of our lives.  Isn’t is a comforting feeling knowing someone is always with you.  With the winter season coming I have many issues to deal with.  The one thing I look forward to is my camping weekends.  This weekend the camper is put away.  Each year it gets more difficult for me because camping is really the only thing I feel I have besides work in my life.  Now until April I have nothing to look forward to on special weekends during the month.  The winter days are dark early and I go to work in the dark and come home in the dark.  The depression sets in and it gets harder to convince myself there is reason to go on each day living in pain.  Hearing God’s voice saying I am with you helps keep me on my path.  Who is with you on your path?